Jog Blog!

Oh, if only I could blog when I jog.  Those joggers out there know exactly what I mean.  My thoughts as I jog come to me so clearly, and make so much sense.  By the time I come home all sweaty and shaky.  Not only do I collapse, but so does my brain!  I can't say or write anything that made so much sense to me 30 minutes ago.  If only I could put a memory card in my head. (Hey I may be on to something!) 

I haven't blogged in a while, out of concern for the families that are in, and are going to Ukraine in the next while.  I have been so broken hearted for them that I can't write.  Unaffected, however; is the fact that my kids still drive me insane.  I didn't want to write my frustrations while the others were in distress over their kids.  I'm still keeping the faith for them, but I can't hold my feelings in any longer.  I either blog about it, or take it out on them, like I have been doing for the last two weeks.  So far, I'm pretty sure I'm out of the running for "Mother Of The Year!" 

I'm going to try and put a few thoughts over the last two weeks together, so this isn't too drawn out.  

Cutting to the chase.   All of my kids are driving me insane!  I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.  I think having one move back in, after being on her own for a year, has certainly put me over the edge.  It hasn't been that bad, but combining that with 4 other strong minded teenagers is really overwhelming.  All I want them to ever do, is go to school, and let me be feel free for a couple hours.  (Okay, now every Mom here knows exactly what I mean!)  

Here is a sample of an e-mail that I had been venting on, while taking a break from blogging. Just to show you how I got in to this insanity.  Sorry, if this is offensive to anyone.  It is not my intention.  

 "I need my boys to find something to do after school, they are driving me bananas!  "Mom, I need a new computer, this one sucks!  Mom, I need a job.  Mom, I need money.  Mom, I want to go to Jordan High School, Brighton is gay.  Mom, I'm sick.  Mom, maybe no school.  Mom, I hate Mr. ?????? He is (well you name it, and more)  Mom, Cat's not doing her jobs.  Mom, Cat's not doing anything.  Mom, I need new shoes.  Mom, I can wear these shirts.  Too small.  Too short.  Mom, I know English.  Mom, but I don't know English.  Mom, I lost this.  Mom, I broke that.  Mom, the teacher took it away.  Mom the bus driver is gay.  Mom reading is gay."  That and more was said in one day!  They need to find another word for gay!  It is just so politically incorrect. 

Yesterday, I took them to get their hair cut, from a friend of mine that also adopted from Ukraine.  I guess Artem was listening to our conversation, because he repeated it word for word when he got frustrated with me last night while reading.  He has a very heavy accent when he speaks, and I was just trying to get him to say the words correctly.  He wanted to speed read though the whole book.  I kept slowing him down, and he kept getting distracted.  I thirsty.  I need drink.  I said No, I am thirsty, I need "A" drink!  He smiled and said "Yeah, you need, I get!"  thinking he is so funny.  He is suppose to read for thirty minutes straight, but that isn't working lately with all of his distractions, so I have been making him read to a certain point in the book.  Well he thinks it's still 30 minutes and looks at his watch the whole time anyway.

  He then pops up and says "OKAY, 30 minutes, I go!"  Of course, I make him sit down and we argue for another 30 minutes, why he is wasting time.  He knows who will win, as we are sitting there doing nothing.  I then tell him that I'm going to start to hug and kiss him if this continues any longer.  "I hate my life!  I want to go back to Ukraine!" -  Excuse me?  I don't think so buddy!  I chased him up the stairs and he was laughing.  "Mom, I joke!"  Okay two can play at that game.  I said in my saddest voice "Oh, you don't like us anymore, that makes me so sad."  I start to play cry in my hands.  He comes up to me, and says "Mom, I joke, I joke!"  I looked up at him and said  "NO!  It's Mom, I am JOKING!"  I grabbed him and gave him a nuggy and a bear hug!  That is bonding at it's finest!  He loves it, I can tell.  He will give me that knock out smile of his, and I know that he loves me. 

Let face it, they do drive me crazy, but those moments are priceless, and worth every gray hair and laugh line.  Sasha comes home almost everyday, and gives me a great big hug, tells me that I'm his Mom, and that he loves me! (Try not to cry folks!)  My girls and I will have our little chat sessions, and its great!  It's just enough to get me out of bed in the morning!     

Another Day, Another Dollar! (or $100.00)

It's been a good day for a Monday.  I took the kids to their tutor, and we had a good talk while driving the 20 miles or so to get there.  It was either a fairly mellow day for them, or I'm mellowing out!  They still are for the most part, great kids.  They just don't appreciate what they have here still.  They say that school is so boring, because it is so easy.  (They say this about everything mind you.)  

They had their last soccer game last Saturday.  I reminded them that they were playing the only team that beat them, and that they better get their game faces on.  Sasha just laughed and said, "Oh Mom, It's easy!"  That's when I knew, they were done for.  I was right, as a mother always is;-).  They lost 3 to 7.   Oh well, they had fun, and were in pretty good spirits afterwards.  It is so great to see them together on that field.  Home at last, with their "Brothers."  I can't express enough, that with this team, it is not the winning that counts.  It is seeing them all together as a "family team."  It's pretty amazing that they are all here.  

I got a really nice e-mail from Cindy yesterday.  She is doing really well, despite the fact she adopted 3 teenage girls at the prime of puberty.  Your a super woman Cindy!  I know for a fact now, that teenaged girls are a lot harder then teenaged boys!  She said something that really struck hard with me.  When the kids don't seem to appreciate all the things that we have done for them, don't you think our Father in Heaven feels the same way when we don't talk with him on a daily basis.  I know that I forget to pray a lot these days.  I will put it off, until I have a free moment at times.  I remember the night that we brought them home from the airport when we hosted them.  I fell on my knees and just cried to him, I was so grateful that I had such a rare opportunity to take care of such beautiful good boys.  Now it seems that I take it for granted.  I still feel so incredibly blessed to be able to be their Mom.  Thanks Cindy for that little reminder.  We miss you at our lunches.

The boys are also growing like weeds.  It's just been a little over 5 months and they have grown out of just about everything!  Of course, they now want to wear what everyone else is wearing.  I can't get away with the D.I. anymore.  It is a good thing that most of the store's have such amazing deals right now.   These kids aren't cheap!

The Keller's are leaving tomorrow for Ukraine to pick up their kids.  I wish them a safe arrival, and hope they have a wonderful experience there.  Good luck with everything Kellers!    

   

For fun!

I am finally working on my video that I took in Ukraine.  I have 5 hours of tape to go through.  I had put together a little bit of it, to show to the boys ESL Coordinator.  Thought I would post it to give you a little preview of what went on over there! 

And the word is still "NO"

Oh, it's been a shaky week.  I think the boys find their independence more when Dad's not around.  We got into it again today, in the car on our way to the tutors.  Artem declares that 9th grade in Middle school is easier than 9th grade in High school.  

~How in the world can you know that?  What?  You have only been here for 5 months.  

~My friends tell me.  

~Really, and how would they know? 

~They know!  

~They have the same 9th grade books.  It's the same lessons.  How much harder is that?

~It's harder!

~It's the same!

~No

~Artem, give me a reason why it is harder?

~No

~Then I'm right!

~No

~Artem, how long have I lived here in America?  How long have you?  It is pretty much the same!

~No

I try to explain again, and he cuts me off with No!  No!  No!  Then Sasha decides to join in on the fun-

~No Mom, it's harder!

I yelled back to him, now don't you start in.  I have had it with you saying no all the time!  Stop it, before you two drive me insane.  Or, is that your evil plan for me?

~NO!

Okay, so after a while in total silence in the car, I dropped them off like little hot potatoes, and drive off.  Normally, I stay with them.  I was so mad!  

After I washed my car, and cooled down, I went back to the tutors, and walked in to find Sasha doing work on the table, while Artem had his one on one time with Inna.  He looked up at me, with a big smile on his face and said, "Hi Mom.  That kid doesn't hold any grudges.  He forgets within an hour.  It is a good quality to have.  I gave him a hug, and asked him if he needed any help.  

Artem too, when he saw me, gave me a big smile and a "Hi Mom."  I don't know why I get so mad at them.  Most of the time, it's over such trivial matters, but it happens all the time.  

I do need to add that when I talked with Sasha the next day, after our big argument.  I told him that it really hurt me that he would want to throw away those letters.  It made him feel really bad, but said, why does it matter, we are here with you now.  We don't need those letters.  I told him he was right, but they hold sentimental value to me.  He really didn't know what that meant, so I just dropped it.  His English is getting so good, that it make's up for everything else.  

I then remember something that happen last week.  He came running in the house after school, yelling "Mom. Mom."  I thought something was wrong, he sounded so urgent.  "What's wrong Sasha?"  ~ "Nothing!"  He then gave me a tight hug, looked up at me, and said "Your my Mom!  I love you!"  He said it twice in that order.  " I told him, that I was always going to be his Mom, and that would never change.  

That was a good moment!  I need to keep that thought close.  Mostly when he is saying "NO!"

Thanks for all of your comments.  Keep the advice coming.  Mostly, it makes me laugh, and that is the medicine.     

       

What the hay?

Okay, so I just posted this great up beat entry.  Thrilled about the soccer team, and how well they are doing.  Basically on a high, thinking life ain't so bad.  It is amazing how it can turn so ugly!  Testing my abilities as a good Mother, are my wonderful teenage kids.  When Dad's away, the kids will play with Mom.  The game isn't always fair though.  

This morning was very good.  I took the boy's to their tutor, which normally turns out to be a big argument by the end of the session.  She told me that she was very proud of the boys, and that they really worked hard today.  I thought to myself, finally, now we are getting somewhere.   We had a great conversation on the drive back to school, laughing and joking all the way.  Then I got home. 

 

My oldest has moved back in, and it has been quite an adjustment for both of us.  She is used to doing what she wants, and I'm used to telling her what is best.  That never makes for good conversation at the end of the day.  I'm harsh, I'll admit, and I need to back off.  This always ends up with the volcano effect, and you mothers know exactly what I am talking about.  It's going to erupt sooner or later.  I opted for later, and kept myself busy getting a video done.

We had a nice dinner, and my two oldest went out.  Cat and the boys did what homework they had, and then a little free time.  At 9:00, they read.  Sound reasonable right.  Not to Sasha.   That is when the night went horribly wrong.  He sat in Cat's chair and made it his own.  Cat got mad, and I took her side.  She just got up for a drink.  He said that Cat can sit somewhere else!  "Really, your serious?"  I made him get up and find another spot to read.  He was bugged, but did it.  When he was done, he went to his room and found that his dresser was gone.  He came running down the stairs stating "Mom. my dresser, where?  

I reminded him that Maddie had asked both of them, if she could use it yesterday.  He and Artem, told her she could.  "Yeah, but that was just two drawers!"  Of course this is highly unfair, because you know, I am now favoring my girls again, and it's not fair to the boys that come from a different land.  I was telling him how we can work it out.  He just turned walked away from me.  I told him to come back.   Nothing. I heard him down the hall.  Again, Sasha come back here while I'm talking to you!  Nothing!  I hear him going up the stairs.  At this point I'm yelling, Sasha come back here!  I hear him upstairs heading towards his room.  (Remember that volcano that I so reasonably saved for later?  Yeah........

I let him have it (verbally, of course)  He sat there and took it.  Every word bouncing off him like a rubber ball banging against my forehead.   I told him the small about of underwear and PJ's that he kept in that dresser, can easily fit into his closet with no problem.  He jumps up and said good.  With that he went in his closet, took some box's out that were Maddie's, and some other stuff I had stored in there.  (They each have a big closet by the way, which isn't even nearly full)  He started handing me stuff, and I gladly took it out.  Then he handed me a shoe box.  I asked what was in it.  He said that it didn't matter, it wasn't his.  I opened it to find all of the letters we had written to them while they were in Ukraine.  Shocked, I asked him if he really wanted them thrown out?  "Yes, I don't need them anymore.  You see, no problem!"  Talk about a knife through your heart.  I calmly asked him again, if he was sure.  He said he was, and I said fine.  They are just papers.  Talk about being spiteful, but OUCH!  That hurt!  

Going to bed angry is not a good thing.  I just didn't know what else to do.  Of course, he is sleeping soundly, while I'm up at three o'clock in the morning surfing the internet!  I have been sick for more then a week, with little sleep at night.  I need sleep.  I have compared this adoption thing with having a baby.  I waited more then 9 months to get them here, and now I have to stay up at night with them.  The funny thing with Sasha is, that he will forget all about this in the morning, and I will carry it the rest of the week.  Mostly in the bags under my eyes. 

Oh, kids can do so many heinous things to you, but I guess that's what makes us who we are.  MOMS!       

  

Far From Over

Busy, Busy.  Kent had taken Sasha on a scout overnighter, with skiing the next day.  Artem opted not to go, to play soccer instead.  We had a big crowd there to watch them.  I guess I have been giving the team a lot of hype, and they wanted to see what the big deal was.  The team didn't fail to impress!  My family was debating weather or not to go.  It's all the way out in Bountiful for crying out loud!  Who has that kind of time?  By the end of the first game, my sister was saying, "We should go to the Real games!"  I replied "Are you kidding me?"  besides - not as much fun!

They won both of their games again.  But that is not really the point here.  Not for the parents anyway; for them it is.

 Ha Ha!  I don't know what it is about seeing these kids play as a team together.  I absolutely love to watch their intensity.  You can feel the connection they all have to one another.  Even the ones that didn't know each other in Ukraine.   I thought it was just the parents, but it was the others as well that made comments about it.  

I have entitled this video "Far From Over" because even though they have their last game this Saturday, their connection with each other is far from over!

What a kick!

This past Saturday, team Ukraine had a double header in soccer.  They won both games!  The first game was 18 to 0.  The second game was 5 to 3.  They had a blast.  There was a set back though.  One of the boys broke his pelvis, while trying to make a goal.  The moment is captured on this video.  I hope it isn't too up setting for some to see.  It doesn't really look like much.  It is the only clip that is in slow motion.  I debated about putting it in, but in the end, I thought that he would like to see it!  These kids are so tuff.  I talked with him after the game, and asked if he was in much pain.  He said he was, but he didn't seem too bothered by it.  I thought that he might have just pulled a hamstring.  

Just so you know, my Sasha had 4 goals!  He told me that the 4th one didn't count because it was really Ruslan's kick that bounced off his leg though the goal.  He is giving that one to him, so it was really 3 goals.  My Artem had some really great blocks too, so I was a very proud Mom!