The Currant Bush

I know, I said last week that I would update, but things got a little crazy again. It is 12:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I thought it would be a good time to write, and not waste anymore time trying to fall asleep. I have been having a difficult time trying to write about this experience. Every time I tried something would come up, or I just couldn't find the right words.

Hopefully it will make some sense.

As you know, we hosted a boy from Ukraine. He is 11 and so very cute. My boys have been a handful, and basically I was insane for even thinking I could host again. Families were dropping out at the last minute, and the funding wasn't there to take all of the kids that Nanette wanted to bring over. He was one of the kids that had to be cut. Kent didn't think it was a good idea for us to host, and either did anyone in my family. Still, I felt like I needed to host him.

As last minute funding came through, and he was put back on the list, I felt like he was meant to come to America and have a chance at a real family. I agreed to host him, with a feeling that we were going to find him a family.

Of course, when he got here, he got along great with the boys, and he was a lot of fun to have around. We never got an overwhelming feeling that he was ours though, and by the end of the hosting program I was in full panic mode. There were other families that were interested in him, but they didn't seem right to me, and I couldn't let him go.

Heavenly Father has a plan for all of us, and he had a definite plan for this boy. A family came along at the last minute, that I felt was the right family for him. I was attached to him, but all along I felt numb to my feelings for him so that I could let him go. In just a day, they fell in love with him and wanted him.

It was a hard day at the airport saying good-bye. He ran up to me and hugged me so tight. We took a picture and he started to cry, which in turn made me start to cry. We just sat there for a minute, hugging and crying. I had to let him go and all the numbness I had felt during the week wore off. I was at a complete loss to my real feelings and what I knew I needed to do. I just promised him that everything would be all right, and that so many people fell in love with him. That he was such a lucky boy, and was going to have a really great family someday soon.

It was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever had to do. I cried off and on, for under a week after he left. I do know that we have experiences in our lives for a reason. That they are for our growth, even though it hurts like hell. {Sorry, but it did} I'm so grateful for being able to be his mom for two and half weeks, and for all of my kids to have a little brother. I think we all learned a lot from this experience.

I didn't want to list his name and go into great detail about those weeks. I did want to share these pictures, however. It took me awhile before I could even look at them. Now, I feel like I can just confront my feelings head on, and that makes me stronger.

Nanette, how do you do this every year?

As time goes by.....

Hello one and all. It has been about 5 months since I last posted. Yes, it has been very busy, and I found myself taking on more then I should have. However, it is stuff that I would do again, just for the rewards that they have brought. I will try and do little updates as the week goes on. it is just too much information for one entry.

First the boys have been doing great. Summer was pretty busy for them with tutoring, just making sure that they were retaining everything they learned from the last school year. They have made a lot of friends and are for the most part happy boys. (Well, as far as teenage boys can be!)

Save a Child Foundation just had their Hosting Program this past 2 1/2 weeks. It was very successful, and I think most every family had an amazing experience. This is all I can report right now. I still need time to gather my thoughts, as I had a very overwhelming experience both good and bad. The Boys were great at translating, and didn't complain too much when they had to do it.

My girls are doing well. Lauren is at UVU having a good experience her first year of collage. Cat is trying out for the school basketball team, even though she is sick today. Maddie is at UVCC going to Cosmetology school, and is loving it. She also did another pageant, which is giving her tremendous self esteem and confidence.

Here she is singing "Put Your Records On" for her talent.

Again, I will post updates later on this week of our summer and fall so far. I have got a lot of pictures and videos, as to not make it a totally boring experience for you!

Just Dance!

Cat, Artem and Sasha are in the Temple Celebration Program tomorrow night at the Conference Center.  It was a huge effort for multiple regions, to put this all together.  It was an even a bigger effort to get the boys to dance!  At first I bribed them with more computer time.  That didn't turn out so great.  When their schedule's got too busy, is when they couldn't even get on the computer.  That was when we had to pull out the; "You're going to dance because, I'm the Mom, and I say so!"  I know that they will be glad someday when pigs fly, but for now I think that it has been a fun experience for them.  I have caught them having a good time with their friends, so I know all the pleading, prodding, yelling, screaming, kicking, fighting, was well worth it!  Cat was even having bouts of "I don't want to's," until she got herself a partner for the dance.  A very cute partner.  The boys were okay until they got cute partners for the dance.  They have a lot of growing up to do in the maturity department.  I must say though, that they are so dang cute dancing!      

You may be able to see them in the on stage performance if you look hard enough.  We had to tape that performance for our stake, so I couldn't let my kids get all the glory!

  

In other news, my oldest Maddie was in the Miss Sandy Pageant.  She did this all on her own, and I was so proud of her for doing so.  She has never been able to perform in front of people very well.  She didn't even speak in church, when we all had to speak as a family.  She was too uptight about it.  To do this Pageant she had to really step out of her comfort zone.  It was a fun night for her.  Although, she didn't win Miss Sandy, she did win a $2,500 modeling contract with Urban Talent Management.  Here are some highlights of the pageant.  Way to go Maddie! 

Hey time, slow down, you move too fast!

This month has been ridiculously busy.  With one Daughter graduating High School, to another Daughter participating in the Miss Sandy Pageant, and three other teens trying to pass their classes at the end of the year.  It has been overwhelming busy.  Today, however, seems to be a quite one.  No real deadlines to meet this week, so were good for this morning.

Now to catch up!  It was great to meet and greet one of the families that just came back from Ukraine with their new 3 teenaged Daughters. (Yes, you read it right!)  They are beautiful girls, and we are so happy for them.    

  Sasha is getting so tall!  He is still growing too!  He and Artem are the same height and weight, and he is a year younger!

I couldn't stay long.  As part of a great Mother's Day, Kent took me to the Eagles Concert (which was amazing!) 

Here is a small glimpse of the concert.

The Kids were also so great this year.  They went out with their own money and bought me fun gifts.  The boys both got me these funny cards, and wrote some very tender things in them.  That was the best gift from them, and all I could have asked for.  Lauren got me a Willow Tree figurine of a Mother and Daughter, chocolate covered gummy bears, (my favorite), and a white chocolate caramel apple!  

Maddie and Cat walked into my bedroom with a tray of food and Edward Cullen!  Who could ask for anything more!  It scared me to death.  I wasn't at all prepared to be receiving any guests, let alone Edward Cullen! 

 

The boys got their braces finally!  Sasha has been asking for them, since he got here.  Artem didn't think that he needed them.  I didn't either until I had them both looked at by our Orthodontist.  It was way obvious that Sasha need them.  He had teeth growing out of the roof of his mouth.  He had one removed, and the other one needs to be pushed into place.  Artem has pretty straight teeth, but had a very pronounced overbite, and his jaw line was set way back, which made so he looked like he didn't have much of a chin if you looked at him from the side.      

                                Sasha will have his braces much longer then Artem.  He would not let me take a picture of them.  Sorry folks!

Sasha only got braces on the top teeth, which requires a lot more work then the bottom teeth.  He will get his bottoms ones later on.  He will have his braces for about 4 years!

Artem got the whole shebang!  Braces, top and bottom and a herps!  A herps is a little contraption that orthodontist are using instead of headgear.  It is correcting his overbite and giving him a more pronounced jaw line.  It looks really good.  It doesn't feel good though, and he wonders why he even needs it.  You know, they don't need braces in Ukraine! Artem will only have to wear his braces for about a year.  Thats a very short time for you and me, but for a 15 year old teen aged boy, it's an eternity!

They are still hurting and can't eat a whole lot.  I have been making scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and cup cakes.  Yummy!  I shredded up some barbecued chicken last night, and they scarfed it down.  They were so hungry. 

Lastly, Kent and I and some friends of ours, rode in the Salt Lake Century ride on Saturday.   Kent is getting ready for the LOTOJA race in September.  It is a bike race from Logan Utah, to Jackson Hole Wyoming and is 203 miles long!  He has to finish it in one day.  I'm getting ready for the Little Red Riding Hood ride in Logan.  I'm attempting to do 100 miles this year.  I only did the 36 miler last year.  My friend Jen and I, were only going to do 67 miles in the Century, but she got a wild hair and wanted to go as far as we possibly could.  I knew I wasn't ready for anything more then 40.  I wasn't even sure I could go 67.  By the time I finished I had completed 94 Miles!  I couldn't believe it!  After running into a parked truck on the Tuesday before, with a jammed up arm and a jammed up bike, I was still able to ride on Saturday, and do more miles than I had ever done in my life!  WOW.  I don't even have to mention how sore I am now!  Looking back it was quite fun though.

Over all it has been a pretty good month so far.  Keeping really busy helps with the kids not getting so bored!  I don't know what I'm going to do with them for the Summer.  The boys will see Inna through the Summer.  I don't want them to get lazy with their English skills they have learned so far.  They don't want to do it, but too bad!  They will thank me someday, just not anytime soon though.  

Taking A Time Out

Hello all!  It has been a while.  I have just been enjoying reading other blogs, that I haven't really felt like writing in mine.  Having said that, it is not entirely true.  Artem told me that he didn't like to be the focus of my blogs, and would rather not be in them.  Of course, I'm putting it nicer then he did.  Even if I'm saying positive things, he doesn't want the attention.  Well, I have been thinking about it over these last several weeks, and I don't care!  Artem, you will have to get used to the fact that your Mother likes to talk and brag about you.  Sasha doesn't mind it, but he is always eager for the attention.  

So here it goes.  This month has been bipolar.  Just as Katy Perry's song said.  You're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up and you're down.  You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white, we fight, we brake up.  We kiss, we make up!  You!  You don't really want to stay, no!  But you don't really want to go, oh!  

Yes, we had the "If you don't like the rules, and if you can't abide by them, we will gladly send you back to Ukraine where you were so happy!"  I promised myself I would never say that, but they put that dang straw on my back, and I lost it!  However, it did make me see how much they really like it here.  That they really like the rules, but put up a stink because they are teenagers and that is their job.  When it comes to reading time, they fight with me tooth and nail.  When they settle down and finally read, I think they really enjoy it.  Not the reading as much as the fact that we are devoting our time to them.  This is what they crave!  Me too!

 I must say, that Artem had me in tears this past weekend.  He tries to be "The Man" at 15, and doesn't need a Mom telling him how to live his life.  Even though I just want to help him live his age!  They tell me stories all the time of how they needed to fight for their place at the internat.  It is similar here in our schools, only they talk it out before they fight.  Artem said that in Ukraine there is no talkin', just boom, smack down, may the best man win, kind of thing.  Oh, I might add that it would help if they had a stick or some kind of a bat!  Then they laugh, like it's funny.  There is no feeling of "Man that was harsh" or "It would scare the snot out of me!"  

Everything violent is funny to them, and that scares the snot out of me!  They are very non-violent kids in their actions though.  Last night, they were both wrestling with Cat, but being very careful not to really hurt her.  Artem and Sasha both don't like our dog too much because Ike bites their heels when they try and leave, and barks at them.  But Artem feeds him everyday, and worries about him being outside in the cold.  Sasha wants to sell, kill, lose him, so he jokes, but plays with him all the time.  You can really tell kids temperaments by the way they treat animals.  Bottom line, they both are very gentle, kind boys.  They are just all talk, to get a reaction out of us.  

Jorgensen, Wendelbos, and us, took a time out, and went to St. George for their spring break.  It was the boy's first real vacation, and they had a blast!  So did we.  What great families we were with.  It is all because of Save A Child Foundation and these boys.  I've said that there are some amazing people in this organization, and it just keeps getting better.  The friendships I have made alone have been so worth while, and are a huge part of my life now.  You guys are awesome.  I couldn't do these kids without all of your support and love.                

Jog Blog!

Oh, if only I could blog when I jog.  Those joggers out there know exactly what I mean.  My thoughts as I jog come to me so clearly, and make so much sense.  By the time I come home all sweaty and shaky.  Not only do I collapse, but so does my brain!  I can't say or write anything that made so much sense to me 30 minutes ago.  If only I could put a memory card in my head. (Hey I may be on to something!) 

I haven't blogged in a while, out of concern for the families that are in, and are going to Ukraine in the next while.  I have been so broken hearted for them that I can't write.  Unaffected, however; is the fact that my kids still drive me insane.  I didn't want to write my frustrations while the others were in distress over their kids.  I'm still keeping the faith for them, but I can't hold my feelings in any longer.  I either blog about it, or take it out on them, like I have been doing for the last two weeks.  So far, I'm pretty sure I'm out of the running for "Mother Of The Year!" 

I'm going to try and put a few thoughts over the last two weeks together, so this isn't too drawn out.  

Cutting to the chase.   All of my kids are driving me insane!  I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later.  I think having one move back in, after being on her own for a year, has certainly put me over the edge.  It hasn't been that bad, but combining that with 4 other strong minded teenagers is really overwhelming.  All I want them to ever do, is go to school, and let me be feel free for a couple hours.  (Okay, now every Mom here knows exactly what I mean!)  

Here is a sample of an e-mail that I had been venting on, while taking a break from blogging. Just to show you how I got in to this insanity.  Sorry, if this is offensive to anyone.  It is not my intention.  

 "I need my boys to find something to do after school, they are driving me bananas!  "Mom, I need a new computer, this one sucks!  Mom, I need a job.  Mom, I need money.  Mom, I want to go to Jordan High School, Brighton is gay.  Mom, I'm sick.  Mom, maybe no school.  Mom, I hate Mr. ?????? He is (well you name it, and more)  Mom, Cat's not doing her jobs.  Mom, Cat's not doing anything.  Mom, I need new shoes.  Mom, I can wear these shirts.  Too small.  Too short.  Mom, I know English.  Mom, but I don't know English.  Mom, I lost this.  Mom, I broke that.  Mom, the teacher took it away.  Mom the bus driver is gay.  Mom reading is gay."  That and more was said in one day!  They need to find another word for gay!  It is just so politically incorrect. 

Yesterday, I took them to get their hair cut, from a friend of mine that also adopted from Ukraine.  I guess Artem was listening to our conversation, because he repeated it word for word when he got frustrated with me last night while reading.  He has a very heavy accent when he speaks, and I was just trying to get him to say the words correctly.  He wanted to speed read though the whole book.  I kept slowing him down, and he kept getting distracted.  I thirsty.  I need drink.  I said No, I am thirsty, I need "A" drink!  He smiled and said "Yeah, you need, I get!"  thinking he is so funny.  He is suppose to read for thirty minutes straight, but that isn't working lately with all of his distractions, so I have been making him read to a certain point in the book.  Well he thinks it's still 30 minutes and looks at his watch the whole time anyway.

  He then pops up and says "OKAY, 30 minutes, I go!"  Of course, I make him sit down and we argue for another 30 minutes, why he is wasting time.  He knows who will win, as we are sitting there doing nothing.  I then tell him that I'm going to start to hug and kiss him if this continues any longer.  "I hate my life!  I want to go back to Ukraine!" -  Excuse me?  I don't think so buddy!  I chased him up the stairs and he was laughing.  "Mom, I joke!"  Okay two can play at that game.  I said in my saddest voice "Oh, you don't like us anymore, that makes me so sad."  I start to play cry in my hands.  He comes up to me, and says "Mom, I joke, I joke!"  I looked up at him and said  "NO!  It's Mom, I am JOKING!"  I grabbed him and gave him a nuggy and a bear hug!  That is bonding at it's finest!  He loves it, I can tell.  He will give me that knock out smile of his, and I know that he loves me. 

Let face it, they do drive me crazy, but those moments are priceless, and worth every gray hair and laugh line.  Sasha comes home almost everyday, and gives me a great big hug, tells me that I'm his Mom, and that he loves me! (Try not to cry folks!)  My girls and I will have our little chat sessions, and its great!  It's just enough to get me out of bed in the morning!     

Another Day, Another Dollar! (or $100.00)

It's been a good day for a Monday.  I took the kids to their tutor, and we had a good talk while driving the 20 miles or so to get there.  It was either a fairly mellow day for them, or I'm mellowing out!  They still are for the most part, great kids.  They just don't appreciate what they have here still.  They say that school is so boring, because it is so easy.  (They say this about everything mind you.)  

They had their last soccer game last Saturday.  I reminded them that they were playing the only team that beat them, and that they better get their game faces on.  Sasha just laughed and said, "Oh Mom, It's easy!"  That's when I knew, they were done for.  I was right, as a mother always is;-).  They lost 3 to 7.   Oh well, they had fun, and were in pretty good spirits afterwards.  It is so great to see them together on that field.  Home at last, with their "Brothers."  I can't express enough, that with this team, it is not the winning that counts.  It is seeing them all together as a "family team."  It's pretty amazing that they are all here.  

I got a really nice e-mail from Cindy yesterday.  She is doing really well, despite the fact she adopted 3 teenage girls at the prime of puberty.  Your a super woman Cindy!  I know for a fact now, that teenaged girls are a lot harder then teenaged boys!  She said something that really struck hard with me.  When the kids don't seem to appreciate all the things that we have done for them, don't you think our Father in Heaven feels the same way when we don't talk with him on a daily basis.  I know that I forget to pray a lot these days.  I will put it off, until I have a free moment at times.  I remember the night that we brought them home from the airport when we hosted them.  I fell on my knees and just cried to him, I was so grateful that I had such a rare opportunity to take care of such beautiful good boys.  Now it seems that I take it for granted.  I still feel so incredibly blessed to be able to be their Mom.  Thanks Cindy for that little reminder.  We miss you at our lunches.

The boys are also growing like weeds.  It's just been a little over 5 months and they have grown out of just about everything!  Of course, they now want to wear what everyone else is wearing.  I can't get away with the D.I. anymore.  It is a good thing that most of the store's have such amazing deals right now.   These kids aren't cheap!

The Keller's are leaving tomorrow for Ukraine to pick up their kids.  I wish them a safe arrival, and hope they have a wonderful experience there.  Good luck with everything Kellers!