Thursday, February 26, 2009

And the word is still "NO"

Oh, it's been a shaky week.  I think the boys find their independence more when Dad's not around.  We got into it again today, in the car on our way to the tutors.  Artem declares that 9th grade in Middle school is easier than 9th grade in High school.  
~How in the world can you know that?  What?  You have only been here for 5 months.  
~My friends tell me.  
~Really, and how would they know? 
~They know!  
~They have the same 9th grade books.  It's the same lessons.  How much harder is that?
~It's harder!
~It's the same!
~Artem, give me a reason why it is harder?
~Then I'm right!
~Artem, how long have I lived here in America?  How long have you?  It is pretty much the same!
I try to explain again, and he cuts me off with No!  No!  No!  Then Sasha decides to join in on the fun-
~No Mom, it's harder!
I yelled back to him, now don't you start in.  I have had it with you saying no all the time!  Stop it, before you two drive me insane.  Or, is that your evil plan for me?

Okay, so after a while in total silence in the car, I dropped them off like little hot potatoes, and drive off.  Normally, I stay with them.  I was so mad!  

After I washed my car, and cooled down, I went back to the tutors, and walked in to find Sasha doing work on the table, while Artem had his one on one time with Inna.  He looked up at me, with a big smile on his face and said, "Hi Mom.  That kid doesn't hold any grudges.  He forgets within an hour.  It is a good quality to have.  I gave him a hug, and asked him if he needed any help.  

Artem too, when he saw me, gave me a big smile and a "Hi Mom."  I don't know why I get so mad at them.  Most of the time, it's over such trivial matters, but it happens all the time.  

I do need to add that when I talked with Sasha the next day, after our big argument.  I told him that it really hurt me that he would want to throw away those letters.  It made him feel really bad, but said, why does it matter, we are here with you now.  We don't need those letters.  I told him he was right, but they hold sentimental value to me.  He really didn't know what that meant, so I just dropped it.  His English is getting so good, that it make's up for everything else.  
I then remember something that happen last week.  He came running in the house after school, yelling "Mom. Mom."  I thought something was wrong, he sounded so urgent.  "What's wrong Sasha?"  ~ "Nothing!"  He then gave me a tight hug, looked up at me, and said "Your my Mom!  I love you!"  He said it twice in that order.  " I told him, that I was always going to be his Mom, and that would never change.  

That was a good moment!  I need to keep that thought close.  Mostly when he is saying "NO!"

Thanks for all of your comments.  Keep the advice coming.  Mostly, it makes me laugh, and that is the medicine.     



Andreas and Carrie Horlacher said...

Even if you didn't mean this post to be funny, I laughed so hard I have tears running down my cheeks reading about the "NO!"'s. The way you describe things make it easy to visualize the event happening all over again.

You're an awesome mom, and those lucky boys know.

Wendy said...

What a funny thing for them to argue about with you.
I just love following your blog. I know we have many hurdles to over come with our boy and watching/stalking you gives me perspective. You're an awesome Mom!

Trish said...

Don't you just love it... Being a mom has got to be the hardest thing in this life for us but being an adoptive mom of teenagers is even double hard... but so are the rewards Ü
PS your clips of the soccer games are great! I finally get to come to their last game. Hopefully I'll meet you there.

hale said...

I don't have a teenager yet...but will soon...hopefully. I don't know wether to laugh or get scared at your blog. I know who to call when things will get tough! Monique